Newsletter 7: Valentines Day Special - Dating Terror, Microscopic Liaisons and Psychic Simret

Happy Valentines Week all and I hope that you’ve had a great new year so far!

It’s nice to see that we’re opening up again in the UK with events, venues and gigs returning to business. 

This means I’ve been back with my Psychic Simret work which has been very soul fulfilling indeed. There’s nothing more inspiring than dressing up for an event, headdress, costume ahoy, with my chosen deck of cards as I dazzle the room. It’s also great to connect with others and gain insight into people’s lives, hopes and dreams. What can I say, I love what I do!

During the quiet time, it gave me an opportunity to redesign my website which took me a couple of weeks, but it was good fun. You can check it out here: www.psychicsimret.com 

DATING 

Whilst I’ve never been one for online dating, I thought that I’d give it a try, after being told several times that this is the new way of the dating now…

Let’s just say it’s been an experience so far and it got me thinking about the consumerist approach of dating, how swiping is quite addictive, and how it can be a long winded process to ‘match,’ with someone. What ever happened to boy meets girl, they get along and meet for a date?!

Well, it seems there’s a hefty vetting process and a lot of back and forth before getting to that stage. A contact of mine actually advised me on taking a businesslike approach, so almost like it’s an interview. I must say I did try this and was accused of sounding like I was interviewing someone…whoops!

That said, with this swipe-happy trend, it makes it even harder to try and connect with people. One day it’s ‘Sweetheart and darling I can’t wait to see you,’ and then suddenly, the person has disappeared off the face of the earth. Ghosting culture is a biggie…I mean, even the Tindler Swindler made an effort with his victims…OK perhaps not a great example because he was an evil genius and I feel for those women who are still paying off their debts - the bastard! But he made an effort with those lavish dates to lure those women in! Which leads me to my no 1 rule which has always been ‘NEVER GIVE MONEY TO A MAN.’ Once you cross that boundary shit gets awkward! 

What I’m finding even more fascinating is that through online dating, I’m learning more about myself, my approaches, what I show, how I am and how to be. Sometimes, I don’t tell the whole story, and other times I create an image that’s only a snippet of my real self. Some call it protection or maybe it’s also because as adults, we may struggle to be our authentic selves. I watched this great TED X talk by Caroline McHugh who speaks about this, and how as children and old people we’re probably our most authentic selves, but it’s during the middle of life, where some find it difficult to be who they really are. This is just a brief overview of her theory, but you can watch her talk here:

I’ve also been speaking with friends lately, about attachment styles, patterns, habits, addictions and how we transition from one style to another when working on ourselves. 

This actually inspired a short audio horror story I wrote called ‘Attached,’ about a woman who starts dating again after a particular condition linked with her attachment style. 

You can find it here on my Ko-Fi site. Enjoy as it’s both naughty and freaky!

Recently, a dating experience triggered me as I struggled immensely to express myself or talk about my life and interests. I created a visage that I wanted the other person to see, but in short this ended up being more of a repressive exercise. I realised that I was fearful as I faced feelings of inferiority even though my world is rich and filled with variety. I just couldn’t share it fully with someone else. I believe it also comes down to trust and being careful that my otherness isn’t being commodified as it has been in some past relationships. 

Nonetheless, all these acknowledgements of myself made me realise, that I didn’t want to hide in a box anymore, and that we can be many things, not just the one. And whilst I may have hidden away for a while, it’s vital to be my authentic self for…myself. 

I made a film called ‘Be For Me,’ which outlines my thoughts and feelings during this time. 

Be me for me 

And you for you

Which version you see, and what do I show thee

Casting a vision, an illusion of potential

The shadows hide what I thought was the shameful 

But indeed there has been strength and beauty in the fathom

The unruly, the darkness, the joy and rave of my armageddon

I seem to hide away in the corners, under the tables and doormats

The visage is so easy to paint on like a canvas

Did I forget my satchel of pens and pencils

My notebooks of thoughts, burning fire through the stencils

Where did I go when I met you so

I pulled down the veil and closed my heart

And so it seems, Imploded my soul from the very start

It was so easy to do, not show me for me

But rather what I thought you should see

Now I stand alone, fragments of exchanges

An apparition in the ether of ghost-like memories

Come back

Come home

I see, I wasn’t me

Now I am returning home

Coming back to where I stand

Sleeping dreams and awaking thoughts

How to be and what I saw

Come back home

Back to me

I’m doing so and feeling free.

MICROSCOPIC FILMING

I finally delved into microscopic filming which I’ve wanted to do for a long time. 

With my love for textures and organisms, I hit the slides and petri dish quick time when I unpackaged my new microscope and started experimenting.  In fact, I’ve used some of my findings in my ‘Be For Me Film,’ above.

In my fictional films I’ve always explored macro filming and I cover a lot of this in my up and coming film From Me To You, but this was another way for me to create visuals myself which I’m passionate about. 

You can see some rough clips here…I’m yet to get a decent bracket so as you can see it’s quite handheld!

Thanks for reading this month’s newsletter, and please subscribe and leave comments if you wish! You can also take a look at my exclusive short paranormal erotica audio- visual stories on my Ko-Fi site. Please also know that all the content in this newsletter is exclusive and all films are only available on here. Thanks all!